20 Questions: Griffin Mountain

Jeff Rients asked 20 questions about your campaign setting, I did Tekumel yesterday, today I'm doing my other G+ game, Griffin Mountain.

1. What is the deal with my cleric's religion?

You ain't a cleric mate, you are a shaman, a guy who sees the spirits inhabiting the land, animals, air, sky, rocks and everything else. If that sounds like he is on drugs that is because he probably is on drugs; chewing certain weeds and eating certain mushrooms helps get into the trance like state that enables him to call out to these spirits and have a chat.

Some of the spirits floating about will be ancestor spirits and can be asked for favours of various kinds. Experienced shamen have kind of spirit contact book and can summon ancestors or other kinds of spirit who are good for a given task. Apprentices may or may not get listened to, and may or may not get decent levels of support.

2. Where can we go to buy standard equipment?

The three citadel towns all have trading posts where foreign merchants will exchange pelts and other local produce for foreign goods, but you can make a great deal of what you need yourself from stone, wood and bone, or barter for it with other tribesmen. If you want bronze gear you will have to go to the foreigners, or get in with the local Citadel Kings and earn their favour.

4. Who is the mightiest wizard in the land?

Blueface is the greatest shaman in Balazar without a doubt, but he's a bit elusive when he doesn't want to be found. Impersonates a Sabretooth Tiger or so they say, but that's a bit risky for ordinary shamen. A man might get a bit too used to being a tiger, forget he was ever a man, but Blueface never does. He's been around for centuries they reckon and knows the name of every last beast on the plains, every stone, every stream and every blade of grass, bush and tree and most of the rocks. Bit taciturn are rocks, keep themselves to themselves.

5. Who is the greatest warrior in the land?

Probably Yalaring Monsterslayer, King of Trilus. He did slay a gigantic chaos demon singlehanded when everyone else had fled, but critics say it was a lucky shot or that the demon wasn't so tough; anyone stupid or stubborn enough not to run away could have taken it down. On the other hand Skilfil Heartpiercer is still reckoned to have some fight in him, he did fight the Sun Hawk Spirit for the right to tame the Great Hawks his guards ride, but that was twenty years back. Then there's Ogolorph Windshaper the Great Hunter, his tribe allegedly hunt Brontosaurs for a living, that takes some doing. Waddle Greenbeak is probably not top of anyone's list. He's the only duck in Balazar and gets funny looks wherever he goes, but there's something about the speed his hand goes for the hilt of his sword or the steely squawk he utters when talking of his patron god Hueymakt the Deathdrake that says he is more than just a Wild-day lunch with attitude.

6. Who is the richest person in the land?

Cyriel Endelkar, chief of the Lunar merchantmen. He undoubtedly loses money on his trade operations in Balazar proper, but he does have the supply contract for the Lunar garrison at Elkoi and a virtual monopoly on the export of slaves. Joh Mith does ok, but he works damned hard for his money, traipsing around the plains in all weathers with his caravan picking up a few antlers here and a few furs there. Then there are the Dwarves with all their bronze and iron and whatnot, but no one is sure whether Dwarves count as 'people'.

7. Where can we go to get some magical healing?

Anyone can do it, just mutter the words, wave the fetch and it happens. Shamen are bit better at it than most, and if you want your leg stuck back on the Wise Women can call on Mother Sky herself to do it for you. They say that the foreign priestesses in Tilus and Elkoi are pretty handy, but most people stick with the ancestor spirits they know.

8. Where can we go to get cures for the following conditions: poison, disease, curse, level drain, lycanthropy, polymorph, alignment change, death, undeath?

Shaman will have the smarts and magic to have a go at all of these, but only the most powerful with the greatest spirit allies will be able to do much to throw out the worst disease demons and search in the spirit world for those recently departed without getting lost themselves.

9. Is there a magic guild my MU belongs to or that I can join in order to get more spells?

Most Shamen are attached to a tribe, but impress the individual practitioner and he will teach you, even if your tribes are enemies. The foreigners say their gods will accept all comers and teach their magics to anyone, but at what cost? They will take your spirit away from the land to live on the moon or behind the west wind, away from your tribe, they say so themselves, and who wants that?

10. Where can I find an alchemist, sage or other expert NPC?

Depends what you want to know. The priests of Tharkantus can read, a bit, and know a few legends the wild and woolly shamen of the plains don't care to remember about the good old days when Balazar had towns and roads. Joh Mith has been further into the Elder Wilds than anyone except possibly Blueface, and the ancestor spirits can tell you lots. This foreigner Bluebird, the one teaching King Yalaring's son, claims to know a thing or two, but what he has to say seems so crazy and far away frm people's concerns half the time that no one really listens to him.

11. Where can I hire mercenaries?

Any tribesman will help you out, just ask, the Blazarings are honourable folk and hospitable to all, within reason. The friendlier your tribe is to theirs the more help you will get of course, and in some cases they'll just throw you a bone their dog has got tired of before slitting your throat and leaving you for the wolves, but that's tribal feuds for you. They rarely get that bad though.

If you want men to fight for you ask your own tribe, and offer the chance for loot or gifts of bronze. You could do some kind of deal with the Citadel Kings for the help of some of their soldiers for while, if there's a clear benefit to them.

12. Is there any place on the map where swords are illegal, magic is outlawed or any other notable hassles from Johnny Law?

Don't try anything around the Kings. They have large entourages of warriors, usually a few priests hanging about and maybe a shaman or two, and Yalaring will personally rip your to bits and Skilfil will skewer you with his magic spear before you get to say boo. Glyptus is a big fat idiot, even his own warriors think so, but he has Lunar demons on his side so be doubly careful around him. Otherwise the law extends as far as the Citadel warriors can make it stick with their personal might and the authority and honour of their respective regimes. When you are out in the wilds make friends with the bears.

13. Which way to the nearest tavern?

The trading posts have beer and entertainment and beds, but the city life costs and many a hunter has traded away all his furs for luxuries and cheap booze before he gets out of the door.

14. What monsters are terrorizing the countryside sufficiently that if I kill them I will become famous?

If you meet a Broo kill it, no one is going to mind that, but opinions on Dwarves, Elves and Trolls are divided. Bears, especially the tricky ones that pretend to be men, are always worth bragging about and every so often something horrible and chaotic slithers south out of the Elder Wilds, like that thing King Yalaring took down ten years back. Then there's the dinosaurs. Not sure anyone has ever got an Allosaur, and no one ever killed Ormfang the Ice Dragon either.

15. Are there any wars brewing I could go fight?

Always inter tribal feuds threatening to get nasty, like the Sable - Great Bison feud, and Trilus, Elkoi and Dykene are always rattling swords over something or other. Smart money says the Triloi and Dykeneans are going to go at it next.

16. How about gladiatorial arenas complete with hard-won glory and fabulous cash prizes?

Not as such, but there is a great hunt every year where all the mightiest hunters of the land go after the biggest beast they can find equipped only with a loincloth, warpaint and a stone spear. Wrestling is popular in some parts (don't go up against a bear unless you really have to though). Some Lunar soldiers introduced the sport of Shield Push last year, and the Triloi are somehow current champions. You could try playing Trollball, there is always big money riding on that if you have someplace you can spend lead Bolgs.

17. Are there any secret societies with sinister agendas I could join and/or fight?

The Lunars are up to something, everyone knows it, we just don't know what. Forget this alms giving and free onion soup at the temples, sandals for kiddies and missionary medical assistance malarkey, they are just fronts for whatever mad Loonie nonsense they have brewing. The wolves howl under the full moon, the bears get restless and the Broo dance. That means something...

18. What is there to eat around here?

If you are in a citadel bacon and beer, everywhere else the diet is a bit more varied and often more lively - you eat what stands still long enough for you to kill it. Get some hunting dogs and one of those native dog handlers who was brought up with dogs as his brothers, worth their weight in bison ribs.

19. Any legendary lost treasures I could be looking for?

The Iron Crown of Throggar, the Windberry Tree, Elkoi's giant taming ring for starters. You could try getting one of Skilfil's nice magic weapons off him, or you could go up into the mountains to see the giant Gonn Orta and trade with him for any number of mind bogglingly powerful (and expensive) artefacts.

20. Where is the nearest dragon or other monster with Type H treasure?

You see that mountain there to the south east, the pointy white one. That's Ormfang. No he doesn't live in a cave on the mountain, that's him, coiled up and sleeping with a pile of ice on top and glacier running down his nose. He hasn't moved for years but he does have nightmares once in a while and everyone knows about it because it blows a blizzard for four weeks at a go, the thaw comes six weeks late and you will probably starve and that's if your lucky enough not to find one of his 'dreams' howling out of the white hell around you with a thousand glittering fangs ready to snap you up at a gulp. He ate several cities in Dragon Pass, so he might have some boodle.

The Griffins up at Griffin Mountain have been there forever, so they may well have some serious loot put by as well, and then there is Gonn Orta. See that mountain to the North west...? No that's not him, that's his uncle Skik, Gonn lives under the crag to the left.. or is it the right? Or that mountain there is Skik and this ones Hrak? Oh well anyway, there's Eleven Big Giant Mountains and Three Little ones, and Gonn Orta sits amongst them set on turning into a mountain himself, and in the meantime buying and selling magic items like they were bolts of deerskin or something. He's got loot, lots of it.

20 Questions: Tekumel

Jeff Rients asked 20 questions about your campaign setting. Tekumel isn't my setting, but these are the answers for the campaign I'm currently running

1. What is the deal with my cleric's religion?

There are 20 Gods in the standard Tsolyani pantheon and the Temples that worship them are huge wealthy institutions controlling large tracts of land. Each god has dozens of 'aspects' covering a part of the gods area of competence, and shrines can be found in every home. The gods are real. You sacrifice and they do you favours, annoy them and bad things will happen to you; every temple has volumes of attested interventions direct and indirect by their chosen deity and everyone has felt or can point to a relative who has felt the touch of the gods in some way. People are not slaves to their gods though, and many of their clergy are just in it for the salary or the education that might get them a place in the civil service. Theologians jabber at great length about the nature of the gods, but their true nature is beyond the ken of man.

The temples teach magic. Not as a gift from their god directly, but because the Temples are large institutions full of libraries and scholars, and there is no secular university that could equal the thoroughness and reliability of their teaching. Magic is very hazardous, deviating from the age old and well tested syllabuses of the Temples is a huge risk.

There are gods outside the Pavarian 20. The Livyani Shadow Gods, Hrsh, Shiringgayi, and dozens more, but their worship is discouraged in Tsolaynu and most foreigners join a local temple that includes aspects close to their own deities nature.

2. Where can we go to buy standard equipment?

There are many shops and bazaars all over the city of Jakalla selling almost anything imaginable from sandals to slaves. But some items are only available at certain places, such as some of the more exotic drugs from the bazaar outside the Temple of Dlamelish, and it is often a good idea to go to the clanhouse of the craftsmen who make a given item and get something specially made.

3. Where can we go to get platemail custom fitted for this monster I just befriended?

Any armourer worth his salt could make you something suitable, if you had the money and the social status to make it worth his while. The social status bit is important. The best armourers have 'luxury brand' cachet that they don't want to lose by being seen to deal with lowlifes like most adventurers, or doing something crazy like making an outfit for a Ssu, the hated enemy of all mankind.

4. Who is the mightiest wizard in the land?

The Undying Wizards are a body of wizards so august and mighty that they allegedly range throughout the many universes and times as easily as ordinary mortals might stroll down to the cloth market for a fresh sleeping mat. They only appear very occasionally on our mundane plane though, and when they do it is usually because there is serious trouble afoot that may lead to the end of the world.

The wizard you are most likely to meet in Jakalla, or at least glimpse far off sitting on a palanquin surrounded by a small army of bodyguards when he emerges from his tower, is Ruvadis the Wearer of Eyes, though Akhone hiVarashmek, Badragu (High Adept of the Powers) of the Temple of Gruganu ranks him only fourth in the city after himself at third. He won't say who numbers one and two are, he just taps on the ground with his staff, softly.

5. Who is the greatest warrior in the land?

The Emperor himself of course! Didn't he personally lead a successful invasion of Saa Allaqi, then turn his army round and win the Civil War? Of course the Emperor never leaves Avanthar these days, but Karim Missum, though getting on, is still a pretty good swordsman and a great general.

6. Who is the richest person in the land?

The Emperor owns everything and everybody, we are merely his slaves and those things we dare to call our own are just lent to us for the duration of our paltry lives by his grace and generosity.

Locally to Jakalla, Prince Rereshqala has a good few million kaitars and very pretty palace down by the sea, and the Jade Diadem own a good chunk of the land the city is built on.

7. Where can we go to get some magical healing?

The temple of your own deity will be able to do a few things, but if you get seriously bashed about then the Temple of Ketengku, God of Medicine, has the best spells.

8. Where can we go to get cures for the following conditions: poison, disease, curse, level drain, lycanthropy, polymorph, alignment change, death, undeath?

Any temple can deal with poison, most diseases and curses, and can even raise you from the dead. Persuading them that you are a worthy case and finding the necessary fees are another matter. In practice forget resurrection, you need to be someone of very great importance to be considered; curses can always be worked off by grovelling to the cursing deity or demon, or by sufficiently large sacrifices to ones own deity.

9. Is there a magic guild my MU belongs to or that I can join in order to get more spells?

All magicians are part of a temple, they will teach you what you need to know. A few 'freelance' wizards will tell you they can teach you outside the temple system, but they are almost invariably charlatans and if they are not the Temples will catch up with them sooner or later and make them suffer.

10. Where can I find an alchemist, sage or other expert NPC?

Alchemists can be found in any market place, but bear in mind that alchemy in Tekumel is not an inherently magical occupation - their products are mundane drugs and antispetics, dyestuffs and essential oils. Magic potions? Maybe some of the higher ups in some of the spookier temples like Ksarul and Hru'u could get you strange ingredients from the Demon Planes, but you would have be part of one of their strange secret societies to get access to them.

Sages are available at any temple, bit each specialises in its own area of knowledge. Experts in warfare, arms and armour you would find at the Temple of Karakan, natural history at Avanthe and so on. Best general knowledge resources are the temples of Thumis and Ksarul.

Other experts can be found among the clans; architects, engineers, lawyers etc.

11. Where can I hire mercenaries?

Go down to the Foreign Quarter and hang about for a kiren (half an hour), offer the first lowlife who tried to cut your throat double what's in you purse to become your bodyguard against the second and there you have it. Usually people are a bit more organised about it - you can put posters up on the front wall of the temple of Karakan for a fee, and there are always a few toughs hanging round the Armourers shops in the Foreign Quarter. If you want N'luss, and you probably will, them being a foot taller than everyone else and hard as nails, go ask Vaghba at the Little Mountain boarding house if any of her 'clan' will join you, Pakalans can be had cheap if you are willing to take the risk of them absconding with your loot before the job's done, more expensive but very reliable ex-legionaries can often be found at the Palace of Glorious War and if you are willing to hire any hobo who can carry a pointy stick go to the Tower of the Red Dome.

12. Is there any place on the map where swords are illegal, magic is outlawed or any other notable hassles from Johnny Law?

Tsolyanu is a police state. Every government department has its own police, every government building has a busy office devoted to handling information from and payments to police informers, there are cops of every kind from the village headsman's kid brother who wanders around at night with a big stick, through to the secret police of the Omnipotent Azure Legion who make the KGB look like neighbourhood watch. Nowhere actually outlaws the carrying of arms or the use of magic outright all the time, but if you are in the least bit tempted to use these things to cause trouble or acquire stuff that ain't yours through violence or menaces please bear in mind that you are never more than twenty feet from a cop, and ten from a snitch.

Then there are the civil penalties. You do not commit misdeeds against an individual, you commit it against his clan, and they will engage lawyers who will demand shamtla, damages. If you can't pay your clan will pay for you, but then they might sell you as a slave to make up the loss. If you won't pay we get into clan feud territory, and assassin clans might get involved, and it just all gets nasty.

13. Which way to the nearest tavern?

There are no taverns. No Tsolyani would want to run the risk of eating and drinking in the same place and at the same time as persons below them on the social scale. Groups of persons may, and often do, buy kegs of beer or amphorae of wine and get drunk together in a room but only when all know each other or know people who can vouch for their drinking buddies bona fides. You will find groups of drunks lounging near the wine sellers stalls in the grottier Foreign Quarter bazaars, but these people are Nakome with no honour. Better sorts might hire a room in a winemaker's clanhouse for a private party, but no taverns.

14. What monsters are terrorizing the countryside sufficiently that if I kill them I will become famous?

In the area of Jakalla you can always earn a bounty for the heads of Hluturgu, the Swamp Frogs, ugly little beasts that surge out of the Layoda Swamps every few years in mass migrations/invasions laying waste to all in their path. The seagoing Hluss are also always a problem and Ssu and Stinking Ones are rumoured to appear in the Tsuru'um (underworld) beneath the city every once in a while.

15. Are there any wars brewing I could go fight?

There is a rebellion going on in the Chaigari Protectorate, and the Salarvyani are always 

threatening to take back Ru. If they were to do so the Palace of Glorious War would call up auxiliaries to support the legions. If you do join a legion watch out for the Qadarnikoi, the 'little wars' that are fought as a kind of team sport or duel between rival nations military units.

16. How about gladiatorial arenas complete with hard-won glory and fabulous cash prizes?

The Hirilakte arenas are always looking for gladiators, and great fame and wealth are available for some. Many fights in the arenas are in fact duels, fought out in public, and have no cash prize. Less lethal games include wrestling, martolan (a kind of four sided football), archery and javelin throwing, but the money isn't so good.

17. Are there any secret societies with sinister agendas I could join and/or fight?

Dozens, possibly hundreds. Each state has its own secret police and spy organisations, all the temples have political factions and secret, fanatical and/or militant sects, Dhichune the Usurper is allegedly still alive and wants the throne back, illegal drug (usually Zu'ur) smuggling operations are nearly as ruthless and vicious as the OAL units devoted to suppressing them, and then there are the sects of the Pariah Gods, and the less said about them the better lest their awful minions suddenly appear next to you and suck out your very soul. If you are not in a secret society you are just not trying hard enough.

Ones well worth keeping an eye on are the Ndalu Society, the political wing of the Temple of Ksarul. Ksarul is the sinister god of secrets who had to be imprisoned by the other nine gods with help from one of the despised Pariah gods to stop him taking over the entire multiverse, so ambitious isn't the word for these people. Best mates with numerous species of demon as well. Another dangerous crowd are the Scroll of the Blaze Revealed, an extreme Vimuhla sect who live in secret monasteries and kill any who find them. They allegedly also sally forth to slay innocent civilians and hasten the consumption of the world as if a mere dust mote in the mighty and infinitely incandescent flame of Vimuhla's fire, but who can say.

18. What is there to eat around here?

Tekumel has the detritus of at least 14 different planetary ecosystems, and has a wide variety of foods, few of which are known today. Dna, a red colored starchy grain, is a staple, but barbecued snakes, boiled wasps and reconstructed dodos are also on the menu.

19. Any legendary lost treasures I could be looking for?

Lots. The one everyone wants is the Chariot of the Gods, a flying car, but the Alluring Maiden of Nga, an android assassin that doesn't give up until it has taken out its programmed target and the Hra Tank, wherin the Priests of Ksarul allegedly clone horrific monsters from lumps of dead flesh, are also well worth having. 

If you really want to cause trouble find the ten keys to the magical walls imprisoning Ksarul and let him go.

20. Where is the nearest dragon or other monster with Type H treasure?

Deep down in the underworlds there are great treasures to be had. If you make into the Bednjallan layer there is allegedly the Tomb of Mnekshetra, lesbian lover of the infamous Nyari of the Silken Thighs, and the Temples all have secret shrines to the more unhinged aspects of their deities that you might try and loot.

A Proclamation

Ohé!

Let all bow their heads in sorrow and rend their tunics asunder, let all weep inconsolably and let their tears fall into the dust, for the exquisite Ishó hiVaisúra, much beloved¹ Lady of the most noble clan of the Jade Diadem and most puissant and learned Durúnrakoi² of the Temple of the Obsidian Princess of Lubricious Delights³ has passed beyond this plane and now sails a barque crewed by her fivefold souls among the paradisiacal Islands of Teretané⁴.

Alas no more shall she taste the wine of Arko’éla, smell the essences of Vioséna and hear the sweet hymns of Teshkána, and no more shall she perform the bejewelled dances and silken movements before the Jade and Obsidian Altars of Choyá⁵, oh weep, weep one and all!

It was the most beloved ones’ final wish that she be laid to rest in the sacred city of Ngála within nine days of the Enhancement of the Emerald Radiance⁶ and to this end her most loyal paisaidhbáikhoi⁷ Mriyán⁸ Ashúko hiEktlenle is organising a Grand Procession of Mourning and Celebration to leave the city on the morning after this date.

All those who wish to pay their respects are more than welcome to accompany this procession, an itinerary for which can be obtained from the Office of Protocols at the Temple of Dlamélish during the Ténmres of the Market and Joyous Sitting Together⁹.

There is in addition a requirement for men accomplished with spear and bow to ensure the safety of the procession to the sacred city. Those interested will be provided with the 1^st form of Temple costume of the Green Lady¹⁰, suitable food, drink and other essential sustenance¹¹ on the journey, the blessing of Mrikáya¹² and a monetary consideration suitable to their skill and station. Those wishing to tender their services to our most beloved departed Lady should apply to Uténg hiSorúntle, Kási of the Dlamélish Temple Guards during the Ténmre of Labour¹³, 22-24 Fésru.

All Hail!

1 The actual word used here is dhupangétl’teténikh, a nearly untranslatable Tsolyáni compound meaning, literally, ‘gracefully fucked on many occasions’. ‘Much beloved’ will do, but those aware of the nature of the worship of Dlamélish will spot the nuances.

2 Enchantress – at least a level 5 Sorcerer professionally, 9^th-10^th Circle in priestly rankings.

3 Dlamélish in one her more conventional and less frankly expressed epithets.

4 i.e. she’s snuffed it.

5 All aspects of Dlamélish controlling various pleasurable experiences.

6 9^th of Drénggar; a day of feasting and orgies especially exuberantly celebrated in Jakálla.

7 Literally ‘spender of sexual leisure time’; read into this what you will, but ‘toyboy’ would not be an inappropriate translation to modern idiom.

8 ‘Bishop’ – 15^th Circle in the Priestly hierarchy, usually Level 7+.

9 Afternoon and early evening. A Tenmre is a period of 3 hours.

10 There are numerous forms of formal dress for various occasions and events. This is the minimum requirement for attendance as part of a Dlamélish ritual as opposed to a mere onlooker, but probably worth 10 káitars in itself.

11 Things Dlamélish followers regard as essential to life will  include booze, music, and quite probably sex and drugs as well. PCs will find few former employees of the Temple complaining about the perks, even if the pay can be a bit sparse at times.

12 She who takes Pleasure in Violence, the most martial of Dlamélish’s aspects, sometimes invoked by those keen on sado-masochistic sex.

13 Some time in the morning.

The above is an introduction to the adventure this Friday, dice up yer PCs if you haven't already  done so and join the funeral cortege.

A new internet game

Zak too Joesky's Carcosa adventure and added some bits. I added some more, some other folk are going to add a bit more. We will eventually end up with an entire campaign, maybe.

Joesky's original and This color: JOESKY (Feb 17, 2012)

Zaks post and his addition and This color: Zak S (Mar 6, 2012)

Here's my bits... which are This color: Baz Blatt (March 7, 2012)

Google docs version here

A CARCOSA AVDENTURE FOR YOU

HERE IS A CARCOSA I MADE. IT IS FOR THE MAP FROM DYSON LOGOS, WHO MAKES THE AWESOMEST MAPS OFALL.

YOUR MISSHIN: KILL THESE GODDAMS BEFORE THEY SUMMON THE AMFIBIOUS ONES. THE SORCEROR IS READY TO ROCK, JUST WAITING FOR SOME FOG AT NIGHT and the Acturan champagne to cool to just the right temperature . MAYBE THE PCS ARE HIRED BY AFRAID VILLAGERS, OR THEY CATCH A JALE GUY WHO RAN AWAY, OR SOMETHING TO TELL THEM THAT A
RIUTUAL IS ABOUT TO GO DOWN. Or maybe someone's noticed precisely the right varieties of gem, creature, and virgin are missing. The Jale guy's innards reach up and climb out of his mouth as he blabs, his kidney revesing and slapping him round the face as his kneecaps explode due to some horrible curse put on him by the Boss-man. No one likes a squealer . WHATEVER, JUST GET THEM OVER THEIR AND TELL THEM TO HURRY THE FUCK UP AND SAVE THE LITTLE GIRL or maybe steal the little girl from the sorcerer and do their own ritual and get the Amphibious Ones to do their nefarious bidding. IF YOU WANT TO PUT SOME URGENT ON IT, THEN SAY TONIGHT WILL BE A FOG NIGHT, OR SOME NIGHT IN 1-4 NIGHTS.

THIS IS A SMALL LAIRE SO BIG FIGHT NOISE FROM ONE AREA (#1-5) WILL ALERT ALL THE OTHERS AREA, UNLESS YOU DO A REAL SNEEK TAKEDOWN.Or sneak in, get a hold of the champers and rplace it with a chepaer brand. While the big boss is screaming the house down and skinning the servants the PCs can pull a fast one.

ALSO THE AC IS DESCENTING BECAUSE IN AMERICA YOU’ARE FREE TO DO WHATEVER YOU WANT AND YOU CAN PRY MY DESCENTING AC FROM MY COLD DEAD FINGERS (BUT I HOPE IT SOENS’T COME TO THAT!!!! But also I've added ascending AC because America--unlike Carcosa--was built on the principles of both Liberty and Equality....not to mention Convenience.

1) ASSHOLETREE. JUST LOOKS LIKE A DEAD TREE (and, temptingly for your sneakier PCs, it is 10' taller than the wall to which it is mouthwateringly adjacent--which wall is 80' tall if you are wondering. Oh, and so are all the others.) BUT THE JOKES IS ON YOU! SPAWN OF SHUBNIGURATH (MV NONE, AC 8/12 BARK, HD 15, SPECIAL ATT., AL C). SLEEPS IN DAY, ONLY TIME OF FOR DANGER IS NIGHT. IF ANYONE GOES UNDER THE TREE TO SLEEP OR PISS OR SPY OR JUST WHATEVER, ROOTS COME OUT FROM GROUND AND A GRAB -ATTACK IS HAPPEN! The spawn does this real sneakiy like, with the first tendril could be well up the interloping scrotes trouser-leg and tickling his fancy before he notices – rolls 3d6+6 vs inside leg measurement to see how far it gets towards making him a sporano. ON 6D6 ROLL EACH ROUND – UNDER STR 3X IN ROW AND YOU BREAK FREE, ROLL OVER 3X IN ROW AND YOU ARE SUCKED UNDER THE DIRT (INSTADEATH!), ANYTHING ELSE AND YOU JUST STUCK IN A WRESSLE. FRENDS WHO HELP MIGHT GET A GRAB-ATTACKT TO – THE ASSHOLETREE MAY SPREAD ITS GRABBER ROOTS AROUND, LIKE 2D6 AGAINST ONE GUY AND 4D6 AGAINST A NOTHER, OR 2D6 ON ONE AND 3D6 ON OTHER AND 1D6 FOR SOMEONE ONE OTHER ATTACK, ETERCETERA……..ETC…….. (THE TREE LIKES TO GRAB LOTS OF PEOPLE SO DON’T BE A DICK DM AND GIVE ALL 6D6 ON ONE DUDE IF MORE PCS ARE THEIR). ANYONE NOT GETTING ROOT-FONDLED CAN ATTACK (ONLY CHOPPER WEPONS DO DAMAGE. NO TRESURE HEAR, JUST A SHITTY ATITUDE TREE. If compelled to reveal its secrets by some means it pretty much knows everything because nobody is like Oh, hey we better not talk about this here because there's a tree. Including he knows the Boss can't hear anything. As do most of the cultists below, by the way. The spawns name is Dave and it is lonely. It will keep schtum at first, but promising to find it a singing shrub or patch of Vampiric Marigolds to chat with will be enough to persude it to spill the beans.

2. ROMPUS ROOM. 8 JALE CULTERS (AC 8/12, MV 12, HD 1, AC 8 HEVY ROBES, 1 ATTACK WITH A KNIFE OR CLUB, AL C) DICK AROUND IN HEAR NOT DOING MUCH. Or possibly playing the 'Soggy Biscuit' game, your choice. 55% CHANCE DURING A DAY ONE OFTHEM PAYS ATTENTION OUT THE FRONT DOOR TO SEE INTRADERS, 13% CHANCE AT NIGHT. 20% chance one of them goes out to have leak by the wall, not the tree. (Why the fuck do people and dogs always piss on trees? Showing comptempt for Druidism?) THEY DONT KNOW ABOUT THE TREE SO IF THEY SEE IT EATING SOME-ONE THEY WILL IF A TREE EATED SOME-ONE THEY WILL FREAK OUT (A MONSTER-TREE????? I DID NOT SINE-UP FOR THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11) (Generous Dm might have the bloke piss on the tree before the PCs and blow the gaff with the tree – don't forget to mention the torn off goolies if you do, you could offer to sew them back on if you rescue the poor schmuck) AND COWARD IN THE ROOM. FOR HAPPENS IN THAT IS A YES. EACH GUY HAD 4-16SP + 0-5GP TRESURES.

2A) BACKDOOR BERNIES. 2 JALE CULTERS (MV 12, AC 9/11SHITTY CLOSE, HD 1, 1 ATTACK SLING OR KNIVE, AL N) LOOK OUT THE BACK WAY and also, occasionally "fish"--or whatever the word is for trying to pull slimeslathered finny abstractions out of whatever pellucid ooze passes for water in dim Carcosa. THEY ARE SCARED SHITLESSS AND ALWAYS ALERT 80% OF THE TIME. ALSO THEY ARE NOT CONVINCE THAT RAPING GIRLS AND HANG-OUT WITH MONSTERS IS A COOL; IDEA, SO IF IF THE PCS LOOK ALL BUFF THEY WILL SWICH SIDES AND JOIN AS HENTCHMEN AND FIGHT HARD TO MAKE THINGSR IGHT.NO TRESURE FOR THESE GUYS, THEY JUST PAYED THEIR CULT DO’S. Though they do have a net and a tackle box. It has some twisty hooks and live bait--unsettling, small things best left alone, really. One is psionic and whispers things. It is kind of like an emeraldish looking dumpling with teeth. It can be used as a magical or psionic battery to double a caster's power, but every time it is used it gets one of the caster's actions with which to do as it dumplingly pleases. It may save these up for a whole simultaneous mess of mayhem or dribble them out one at a time.

They also have a copy of "The Compleat Angler" whose title translates into Carcosan as "Mesh Death".

If they do turn stoolie, don't forget that their boss has put curses on all potential squealers – 1n this case the Curse of the Macroid Toe, the slow swelling of one toe of their left foot until it reaches the size of a house.

3) SHITSTORM. THIS IS WHER THE TOUGHGUY CULTERS HANG OUT. 4 JALE CULT THUGS (MV 12, AC 7/13 NAKED BUT FAST, HD 2+1, 2 ATTACKS EACH WITH A CRAZY LOOKING SICKEL OR CURVY SWORD OR SOMETHIN-G IN EACH HAND unless the PCs are very quiet, one is kinda hiding around the corner and has blinding powder--makes a 10' cloud, save or be blind, AL C, CAUSE FEER UNLESS SAVE VS. SPELLS FOR ANYONE WITH LOWER HD) GO FUCKING CRAZY AT THE CHANCE TO FIGHT. IMMUNE TO ANY MIND GAMES THAT CAUSE THEM NOT TO FIGHT, DONT BOTHER MORALE. ORANGE WARPAIINT IN SWURLS & SIMBOLS, HOOT AND HOLLAR, DO CARTWEELS AND FLIPS TO CHOP YOU UP. NO TRESURE, THESE FUCKERS ARE IN IT FOR THE MURDERRAPEING. A fifth Jale man with dreads is playing a multi tube digeridoo in the corner. There is a blacklight in one corner and the orange is dayglo; if there is no other source of illumination this room could look like a room full of acid house fans doing intepretive dance until the blades hit. This guy has an assortment of wraps of powders of various colours. The green one pops pleasantly on your tongue and makes you go blind, the blue one cleans away bloodstains, the white one is sherbet, the ulfire one makes your eyeballs come out in stalks and act like one of these crazy bastids. THERES ALSO A FIRE WITH SOME TASTY LIZARD MEAT GRILLING UP ON STICKS (EAT A HOT FOOD MEAL EACHDAY HEALS EXTRA 1HP PER DAY).

THE STARES GO DOWNSTARES 20′ THEN END IN A GIANT METAL DOOR OF HI-TECHNOLOGY. THEIR IS A PALM LOCK THAT OPENS FOR A SPACE ALIEN HAND (EVEN A DECAPATAINTED ONE) OTHER WISE YOU NEED EXPLOSIONS OR LOTS OF DINOSARS TO OPEN THIS BABY UP. INSIDE………………….IS UP TO YOU, DM!!!!!!!!!!!11 MAYBE A WAY OFF CARCOSA IF THE PCS ARE JUST VISIT FROM ANOTHER CAMPAINE, MAYBE SPACE ALIEN GOODIES, OR MUMMY BRAINS OR SOMETHING……….THE IMAGANATION IS YOUR LIMIT (IE. NO LIMIT).

3A) BOSS ROOM. HERE WE GO, THE MAIN EVENT!!! IN THIS CORNER IS A REAL PRICK, ‘THE MEGATOLLAH OF MAYHAM’ JALE 4TH LEVEL SORCER (MV 9, AC 4/16 CHAIN+HEVY ROBES, HD4, ATTACK PIRATE SWORD OR SPECIAL, AL C). His ears have slowly LaMarcked over into clubbed mounds in response to his Serpentine Amplifier (see below) and so he can't hear. He relies on his guys in room 3 to warn him of impending whatnot. He'll be asleep if the PCs show up during daylight. HE WARES A CREEPY SNAKE-MAN FILTER OVER MOUTH THAT AMPERFIES HIS SHOUT TO DEADLY SOUND LEVEL! WHEN HE YELLS A CONE BLASTS OUT 2D DAMAGE TO 20′, 1D TO 40′, FARTHER AWAY THEN THAT ALL IT DOES IS PISS YOU OFF IF YOU HAVE A HANG OVER. HE CAN BUST SHIT LIKE THE 3 LITTLE PIGS IF HE STANDING REAL LYCLOSE. WHEN HE MAKES A SHOUT IT TAKES 3 ROUNDS TO RECHARGE FOR ANOTHER ONE. IF THE PCS END UP WITH THIS THING, MAKE IT A 5% CHANCE PER USING TO BLOW ITSELF UP. HE KNOWS THE TWO AMFIBIOUS ONES RITUALS. HE WARES CHROME BRACERS WORTH 75GP + GOLD TOERING 25GP + a 'Prince Albert' ring with a diamond in it 125gp.

AND NEXT TO HIM IS HIS LOVE-BIRD A JALE CHICK 2ND FIGHTER (MV 12, AC 8/12 CHAIN BRA+PANTIES, HD 2, ATT. 2 FLAME OIL BOTTLES, AL C). She likewise has all fucked-up ears but they look better on her--she still can't hear though. SHE WARES 8 JADE BRASELETTES ON ANKLES AND ARMS shaped like centipedes WORTH 40GPEACH + GOLD BELLY CHAIN 45GP (I LOVE THOSE THINGS!!!!!).
THEY MITE EVEN BE BROTHER/SISTER LIKE IN THAT MOVIE “THE CROW” WHICH MAKESIT EVEN WIERRDER……..OR NOT I JUST THOGUHT THAT COULD BE GOO DA IDEA. LIKE IN THE CROW. I HAVE SEEN THIS MOVIE ABOUT 12 TIMES AND I HAVE A THE CROW CREW JACKIT (I DID NOT WORK ON THE CROW, ONLY WATCH TED IT.) I have the soundtrack. I think one shat on my window once.

ANYWAY THEY LIKE TO HANG BACK AND WATCH THE THUGS GO TO TOWN, SHE WILL LAUGH AND TOSS OIL BOTTLES EVERY KNOW AND THEN. IF TWO OF THE THUGS GO DOWN HE WILL JOIN IN COMBAT WITH A SHOUT (assuming they're awake) (HE DONT CARE WHO HE HITS)(and, yes, he is dumb enough to kill everyone who can hear), THE SISTER WILL TRY TO RUN OUT BACK AND GRAB THE WHITE GIRL AND RUN AWAY.

JACKEDPOT!!!! THIS IS THE TRESURE ROOM, A CHEST XCONTAIN: 1135GP + 924SP + 23 PURPLE CRISTALS WORTH 30GP EACH. A LITTLE POT CONTINAES GOOP THAT LOOKS LIKE HONEY, SMELLS LIEK TURDS, AND S 4 DOSES THAT IF YOU EAT YOU GET PSIONICS POWER FOR 1-2 DAYS (and a small handlike "crown" grows on the tip of your tongue, it will slowly try to reach into your brain while you sleep if not amputated within 3 days). A SILVER COFFER WORTH 75GP HOLDS SNAKE-MEN POTENCY ROOTS. 4 PRIMO-BLEND TORCHES THAT BURN FOR 12 HOURS EACH AND CANT BE BLOWED OUT, ONLY SPLASHED OUT WITH WATER ARE AGANST THE WALL. AND THERE’S A MAN-CATCHER IN HEAR TO (MAKEUP SOME RULES FOR). The boss and his babe use the sleeping body of a pupal giant Mothra as a bed. It won't turn into a Mothra for like 5 more years. Probably someone would pay good money for it if they could get it alive. Weighs about 500 lbs. There is also a set of instructions for the snake man weapon thing – they begin 'In case of sonic attack on your district, follow these rules...'

4) WALK THE DINOSAR. IN HERE IS A ANKLOSARUS (MV 6, HD10, AC2/18 SKINS, 1 ATT. IF IT HITS ROLL D4 1) BITE 1D, 2) STOMP 2D, 3) TAIL THWAP 3D, 4) NO DAMAGE BUT TOSSED 30FEETS AWAYS, AL N) THEY ARE TRY TO TAME BY STARVE HIM, BUT IT DOES NOT WORK. HE IS CHAINED TO THEFL OOR BUT NOW IS FEDUP WITH THE BULL-SHIT: ANYONE COMES IN AND IT BRAKES A CHAIN AND GOES NUTS. ALOS IF IT HEARS A FIGHT NOISE IN #3 IT GOES CRAZY AND BUSTS THREW THE WALL LIKE A KOOL-AID-MAN (BUT WITH ANGER TO GIVE INSTEAD OF REFRESHING KOOL-AID). WHENEVER IT ATTACKTS IT GOES FOR RANDOM PERSON (EVEN CULTGUYS). TRESURE: A DEAD CULT BODY (GOT TWO CLOSE DUMMY!) HAS 4G.P. + 15S.P. + 6 ARROWS + SILVER DAGGAR. Also, the ankylosaur's shell is encrusted with precious gems (for some ceremonial reason) worth 1000gp, but each miss--like any hit that would've made it if not for its meddling AC--destroys 1 gp value worth of gems per hit point of damage done.5) COME AND GET EM. 3 PRIOSNERS TIEDTO THE 3 PILLERS HERE AND TORCHES BURN ON OF TOP EACH ONE.

PRISONER 1: PURPLE DUDE (MV 3, AC9/11, HD 1HP LEFT, NO ATTACK UNTIL YOU GIVE HIM A WEPON, AL N). HES BEEN BEATDOWN AND FUCKED UP SO HE WILL PROBALY DIE NO MATTER WAHT BUT IF YOU SET HIM FREE AND GIVE HIM A WEPON HE FIGHTING LIKE A 5TH LEVEL FIGHTER TO GET HIS REVENJE ON JALE ASSHOLES.ONE HIT KILLS HIM SO TRY TO MAKE SURE GETS A SHOTIN. Has a tattoo on his arm 'No one likes us, we don't care', the motto of a local bandit gang. Keep him alive and let him free he might lead you to their hideout.PRISONER 2: WHITE GIRL (MV12, AC 9/11, HD 1/2, ATT. DAGGAR, ALN). SHE GOT THE wiggly DAGGAR HID SOMEWARE SO IF A UNTIE COMES FROM THE JALE CHICK TO RUN, A STAB HAPPINS RIGHT AWAY. TRY TO KEEP HER SAVE, SHE DOES NOT DESERVE A CARCOSA HER. (MAYBE GIVE EXTRA XP FOR A RESCUE). She is dyed orange for some reason, and speaks with a peculiar drawl. Says her name is Sharon and she was on her way to 'Saahfend' when she was kidnapped.PRISONAR 3: BONE LADY (MV 15, AC 7/13 NAKED BUT FAST, HD 3, ATT. STRANGAL). THOSE ARE SOME WEIRD STATS FOR A JUST BONE LADY………..BECASUE SHE IS NOT! A TRICK IS MADE!!!!!!! SOMETIME IN THE PASSED DAYS A FUCKER SPAWN NIGURATH CREPT OUT FROM SWAMP AND GANKED HER IT HAS DOPPELGANGLER POWERS. HER SKIN IS MOSTLY SEETHROUGH BUT SOME NOT-SEETHROUGH PATCHES MIGHT GIVE THE TRICK AWAY. ALSO SHE TALKS LIKE THE KEY-MASTAR OF GOZER, SO THE PCS SHOULD BE WTF???? IF UNTIE SHE COOP-ERATE FOR A COUPLE ROUNDS, THAN WHEN A BACK IS TURNED SHE STRIKES. ONE OF THE GUYS FROM #2A HAS A BONER FOR HER SO IF THEY ARE PART OF THE TEAM, HE WILL STICK CLOSE AND PROLBALY BE THE ONE THAT GETS JACKED. HER NATURAL FORM LOOKS LIKE A BIG YELLOW DIAREA THAT SQIRTS AROUND ON THE GROUND.She also has the ability to turn enemies temporarily transparent so she can copy their brains and therefore acquire any spells or psionic abilities they have.

6. Abandoned well. It's 4' wide and 70' down and from the bottom there's a secret passage that leads underground and up to a trap door in the floor under the "bed" in 3A. Unfortunately two things: first thing is it will collapse after its used for the first time (i.e. when you get to 3a) so you'll probably have to fight your way out through 3 and second thing is it is full of the body parts left over after various sacrifices. The body parts carry psychic resonance patterns from all the victims of all the terrible Carcosa business going on nearby. Pretty much narrate it so it's terrible walking through there but don't do anything really unless you enjoy psychic combat type mechanics way more than I do. Also the hands crawl around and grab people and like the eyes roll around and follow them, etc.

There's also a cultist (stats as Room 2 above) who fell down here when he was drunk. The PCs will just wake him up from being unconscious by climbing down so he's jumpy. He has a broken knee, is sitting in a pile of his own vomit, and has a tangle of slightly living thorns that he uses as a weapon--d6 damage per round until you Str your way out of it plus you can't move--in addition to the standard cultist gear. He is too hungover to negotiate with.

If you're feeling lazy you can have the passage lead to those stairs south of area 3a.

7. The riding beasts the jale girl and the white girl will run off on are here. They are Pithekoi, huge apes with simple saddles. They have blue fur and big blue eyes and are basically peaceable creatures, but wear big helmets the size of cauldrons with pointy bits on them to make them look scary. Even war trained Pithekoi mostly stand up on their hind legs and holler, a few will cuff people round the head (though a playful slap from a ten foot monkey HURTS) and really crazy bull Pithekoi will use clubs and swat airplanes. Four Pithekoi, MV12, AC6/14, HD4 Att. 2 X Smack round chops, AL N.

Tekumel Pre Gens

I now have four hapless PCs for this game, a priest of Thumis, a Ksarulite Sorcerer, an ex-legionary and an N'luss barbarian.

All have hidden agendas of course - this is Tekumel after all - so if you want to play in this game, let me know which Pc you have settled on and I'll let you know the full story.